That shaft which the sharpest in all Cupid's quiver is, A plum-colour'd coach, and rich Pompadour liveries. 'Twas a comely sight To behold the Knight,

With his beautiful bride, dress'd all in white,
And the bridesmaids fair with their long lace veils,
As they all walk'd up to the altar rails,

While nice little boys, the incense dispensers,

March'd in front with white surplices, bands, and gilt

censers.

With a gracious air, and a smiling look,
Mess John had opened his awful book,

And had read so far as to ask if to wed he meant?

And if "he knew any just cause of impediment?"
When from base to turret the castle shook!!!
Then came a sound of a mighty rain
Dashing against each storied pane,

The wind blew loud, And a coal-black cloud O'ershadow'd the church, and the party, and crowd; How it could happen they could not divine,

The morning had been so remarkably fine!

Still the darkness increased, till it reach'd such a pass That the sextoness hasten'd to turn on the gas;

But harder it pour'd, And the thunder roar'd, As if heaven and earth were coming together: None ever had witness'd such terrible weather.

Now louder it crash'd, And the lightning flash'd, Exciting the fears Of the sweet little dears In the veils, as it danced on the brass chandeliers; The parson ran off, though a stout-hearted Saxon, When he found that a flash had set fire to his caxon. Though all the rest trembled, as might be expected, Sir Rupert was perfectly cool and collected,

And endeavour'd to cheer His bride, in her ear Whisp'ring tenderly, "Pray don't be frighten'd, my

dear;

Should it even set fire to the castle, and burn it, you're
Amply insured both for buildings and furniture."

But now, from without, A trustworthy scout
Rush'd hurriedly in, Wet through to the skin,
Informing his master "the river was rising,
And flooding the grounds in a way quite surprising."

He'd no time to say more, For already the roar
Of the waters was heard as they reach'd the church-door,
While, high on the first wave that roll'd in, was seen,
Riding proudly, the form of the angry Lurline;
And all might observe, by her glance fierce and stormy,
She was stung by the spretæ injuriâ formæ.
What she said to the Knight, what she said to the bride,
What she said to the ladies who stood by her side,
What she said to the nice little boys in white clothes,
Oh, nobody mentions, -for nobody knows;
For the roof tumbled in, and the walls tumbled out,
And the folks tumbled down, all confusion and rout,

The rain kept on pouring, The flood kept on

roaring,

The billows and water-nymphs roll'd more and more in; Ere the close of the day All was clean wash'd away

One only survived who could hand down the news,
A little old woman that open'd the pews;

She was borne off, but stuck, By the greatest good
luck,

In an oak-tree and there she hung, crying and screaming,
And saw all the rest swallow'd up the wild stream in;
In vain, all the week, Did the fishermen seek
For the bodies, and poke in each cranny and creek;

In vain was their search After aught in the
church,

They caught nothing but weeds, and perhaps a few perch;

The Humane Society Tried a variety

Of methods, and brought down, to drag for the wreck,

tackles

But they only fished up the clerk's tortoise-shell spec

tacles.

MORAL.

This tale has a moral, Ye youths, oh, beware
Of liquor, and how you run after the fair!

Shun playing at shorts-avoid quarrels and jars-
And don't take to smoking those nasty cigars!

-Let no run of bad luck, or despair for some Jewess

eyed

Damsel, induce you to contemplate suicide;

Don't sit up much later than ten or eleven !

Be up in the morning by half after seven !

Keep from flirting-nor risk, warn'd by Rupert's mis

carriage,

An action for breach of a promise of marriage ;

Don't fancy odd fishes! Don't prig silver dishes ! And to sum the whole, in the shortest phrase I know, BEWARE OF THE RHINE, AND TAKE CARE OF THE RHINO!

And now for "Sunny Italy," the "Land of the unforgotten brave," the land of blue skies and blackeyed Signoras. -I cannot discover from any recorded memoranda that "Uncle Perry" was ever in Venice, even in Carnival time, that he ever saw Garrick in Shylock I do not believe, and am satisfied that he knew nothing of Shakspeare, a circumstance that would by no means disqualify him from publishing an edition of that Poet's works. I can only conclude that, in the course of his Continental wanderings, Sir Peregrine had either read, or heard of the following history, especially as he furnishes us with some particulars of the eventual destination of his dramatis persone which the Bard of Avon has omitted. If this solution be not accepted, I can only say, with Mr. Puff, that probably "two men hit upon the same idea, and Shakspeare made use of it first."

THE MERCHANT OF VENICE.

A LEGEND OF ITALY.

*** Of the "Merchant of Venice" there are two 4to editions in 1600, one by Heyes and the other by Roberts. The Duke of Devonshire and Lord Francis Egerton have copies of the edition by Heyes, and they vary importantly.

*** It must be acknowledged that this is a very easy and happy emendation, which does not admit of a moment's doubt or dispute.

* * * Readers in general are not all aware of the nonsense they have in many cases been accustomed to receive as the genuine text of Shakspeare!-Reasons for a New Edition of Shakspeare's Works, by J. Payne Collier.

I BELIEVE there are few

But have heard of a Jew,

Named Shylock, of Venice, as arrant a "screw"
In money transactions as ever you knew;
An exorbitant miser, who never yet lent
A ducat at less that three hundred per cent.,
Insomuch that the veriest spendthrift in Venice,

Who'd take no more care of his pounds than his

pennies,