:

THE LAY OF THE OLD WOMAN
CLOTHED IN GREY.

A LEGEND OF DOVER.

NCE there lived, as I've heard people say,

An "Old Woman clothed in grey,"

So furrow'd with care,

So haggard her air,

In her eye such a wild supernatural stare,

That all who espied her

Immediately shied her,

And strove to get out of her way.

This fearsome Old Woman was taken ill:

-She sent for the Doctor-he sent her a pill,

And by way of a trial,
A two-shilling phial,

Of green-looking fluid, like lava diluted,

To which I've professed an abhorrence most rooted.*
One of those draughts they so commonly send us,
Labell'd " Haustus catharticus, mane sumendus; '-

She made a wry face,

And, without saying Grace,

Toss'd it off like a dram-it improv'd not her case.

-The Leech came again;
He now open'd a vein,

Still the little Old Woman continued in pain.
So her "Medical Man," although loth to distress her,
Conceived it high time that her Father Confessor
Should be sent for to shrive, and assoilize, and bless her
That she might not slip out of these troublesome scenes
"Unnaneal'd and Unhouseled," whatever that means.*

Growing afraid,
He calls to his aid

A bandy-legg'd neighbour, a "Tailor by trade," +

Tells him his fears,

Bids him lay by his shears,

His thimble, his goose, and his needle, and hie
With all possible speed to the Convent hard by,

Requests him to say

That he begs they'll all pray,

Viz: The whole pious brotherhood, Cleric and Lay,
For the soul of an Old Woman clothed in grey,
Who was just at that time in a very bad way,
And he really believed could'nt last out the day ;-

And to state his desire

That some erudite Friar,

Would run over at once, and examine, and try her;

For he thought he would find
There was "something behind,"

A something that weigh'd on the Old Woman's mind,"In fact he was sure, from what fell from her tongue, That this little Old Woman had done something wrong." -Then he wound up the whole with this hint to the man, " Mind and pick out as holy a friar as you can!

Now I'd have you to know
That this story of woe,

Which I'm telling you, happen'd a long time ago ;
I cant say exactly how long, nor, I own,

What particular monarch was then on the throne,
But 'twas here in Old England: and all that one knows is,
It must have preceded the Wars of the Roses.*

Inasmuch as the times

Described in these rhymes,

Were as fruitful in virtues as ours are in crimes;
And if 'mongst the Laity

Unseemly gaiety

Sometimes betray'd an occasional taint or two,

At once all the Clerics

Went into hysterics,

While scarcely a convent but boasted its Saint or two ;
So it must have been long ere the line of the Tudors,

As since then the breed
Of Saints rarely indeed

With their dignified presence have darken'd our pew doors.

-Hence the late Mr. Froude, and the live Dr. Pusey
We moderus consider as each worth a Jew's eye;

Though Wiseman and Dullman * combine against New

man,

With Doctors and Proctors, and say he's no true man.
-But this by the way. -The Convent I speak about

Had Saints in scores - they said Mass week and week

about;

And the two now on duty were each, for their piety,

"Second to none " in that holy society,

And well might have borne

Those words which are worn

By our " Nulli Secundus" Club-poor dear lost mut

tons.

Of Guardsmen-on Club days, inscribed on their but

tons.

They would read, write, and speak

Latin, Hebrew, and Greek,

A radish-bunch munch for a lunch, -or a leek;

Though scoffers and boobies

Ascribe certain rubies

That garnished the nose of the good Father Hilary
To the overmuch use of Canary and Sillery,

-Some said spirituous compounds of viler distillery

Ah! little reck'd they

That with Friars, who say

Fifty Paters a night, and a hundred a day,
A very slight sustenance goes a great way-
Thus the consequence was that his colleague, Basilius,
Won golden opinions, by looking more bilious,

* The worthy Jesuit's polemical publisher.-I am not quite sure as to the orthography; it's idem sonans, at all events.